IF WISHES WERE HORSES

I had built walls around my heart and wide.

So strong, I thought to myself with pride

But you came my way and right into it you walked in

Like the walls were not even there.

I broke my rules for you.

And in the middle of my ordinary life

You entered and made it a fairy tale.

Sometimes am terrified by the way my heart hungers for you.

Love so composed, in a single soul inhabited by two bodies.

If wishes were horses, we keep telling ourselves.

Then go back to our normal lives.

Every day it gets harder,

In only… is the only thing in my mind

While sitting with this flower in my hand

Plucking petal by petal

She loves me she loves me not

She loves me she loves me more

Am scared of losing you but then again you are not even mine.

Men, Its Okay to Accept Defeat

 

I have silently followed the talk about gender based violence and the solutions offered by all and sundry. Many have agreed that if the relationship is not working the woman should walk out and not wait for her death. As much as I agree with this 'leaving gospel', I think we are all missing an important point. Do you realize that most of the women murdered by their partners met their death after deciding to leave? Now I have your attention.

The 'leaving' will only work once we address the other partner, the man. Our African culture and masculinity has never taught a man to accept defeat or failure. Once a man realizes he is failing in a marriage, he resorts to violence. Once a man is challenged by his woman, he starts reasoning with his fist. Once a woman becomes unfaithful or chooses to move to another man, the partner cannot take it. He decides to use violence to redeem his manhood. Now this violence has graduated from fists to knives, poison and guns. This is the problem we must first address.

We must teach our men that it is ok to fail, it does not change who you are if your woman decides you are not good enough. It does not reduce your stature to acquire the status of a divorcee, rejectee, or ex. A man can still start from nothing and have another successful relationship. People can part amicably.

As men we need to accept the fact that sometimes we are not good enough for some women. We must accept that sometimes we make mistakes that we should take responsibility for. When we cheat and she decides it is over, we should accept and let her go in peace. When we cannot make them happy, we should let them search for their happiness and fulfill their dreams elsewhere. Why destroy someone who once gave you great happiness? Why destroy the mother of your children? Why kill and spend the rest of your life behind bars? Why kill your children and commit suicide just because of a failed relationship? Rejection is not a matter of life and death.

Men, in matters of love and family, sometimes the only way to win is to accept to lose.

 

By Walter Mondela

I AM AFRAID

 

I am afraid
Am afraid of snakes and wild animals.
Am afraid of dying or being diagnosed with an untreatable disease.
Am afraid of proposing in public and she says NO
But you know what am more afraid of,
Am afraid of myself

Long time ago things were perfect during the times of our forefathers
Then the British came and we became inferior to them
Just because they had power and education and money
And they gave small power to others in the name of collaborators
Who in turn became even worse than the colonizers.
I mean how do you turn and betray your own just for power.
Many years down the line and power is still in the hands of a few
Dynasties they call it
The who’s and the wealthy
Even had their own show dedicated to them
“Who owns Kenya?”
Such an absurd question if you think about it
I mean what’s the difference between then and THEM

So why am afraid of myself
Would I be any different if I had this POWER?
It’s easier to point a finger at them if you have not walked in their shoes
Power is good, power is sweet.
Power gives you authority, give you confidence, gives you a voice
I’d like to have it someday
But what I’d like to have most is
THE WISDOM TO CONTOL THIS POWER.

IS HE STINGY OR YOU JUST NOT WORTH IT

 

So I have been seeing posts and memes doing round of late about stingy men association. SMA as you would like to call it. Got me thinking how comes this has emerged all of a sudden, then it dawned me valentine is around the corner. So it must be a tactic or a way of telling your man you need to act the part. I can’t blame you though, if he is dating you he got to actually act the part. You see according to ladies there are two type of people when it comes to not giving them what they want. It’s either you are stingy or you just BROKE, yes I said it, broke. But I would like to add a twist to this. Maybe you are just not worth it.

See every man out here has that one person that means the world to them, that one lady that he would do anything for. One that in trouble just a snap and you would be there for them, you can swim through reeds shirtless, just for them. Scars will always heal. So one day back when I was head over hills for some pretty lady, I woke up in the morning to find a text from my sister who I dearly love (I hope she doesn’t read this, ha!) asking me for 500 bob, I immediately told her I don’t have which clearly I didn’t have but I promised her if I get I will send. Two hours later my apparent girl texted me asking for 1000 bob. Trust me I don’t know how I got the 1000 bob but I did and sent even without flinching. After I had done that it’s when I realized  that my sister had asked for half of what I just sent and I told her I didn’t have. I borrowed another 1000 instantly and sent my sister.

What am trying to communicate here is crap with your stingy men posts, even if you post a million times and you not worth it you still won’t be worth it. Yes maybe He will feel guilty and buy you those flowers and take you to that expensive restaurant that you crave for. But be assured that’s pity not worth it. But then again this is Nairobi, where women are asked do you love a rich man that doesn’t love you or a poor man that loves you and the answer will be unanimous ‘Better cry in a beach in Hawaii that pretend to eat love.' Couldn’t agree more. But then the question is, this life you always expect from men would you give yourself the kind of life. You say you can’t date a man without a car, while in the real sense you can’t even buy yourself  a bicycle.

But then again I don’t want to rule out we don’t have stingy men out here. Men who hide on that card of she knows am poor I can’t afford it. Crap. I heard once “it’s the small things that counts” So make that effort. Be the man, maybe you might just get lucky. We live in a world where nothing is delivered on a silver plate. Sauti Sol once said “mtoto atakuja na sahani yake” Noooooooo. You have to buy that plate and fill it. Then finally we have this kind of men who I would call stupid. You have a family, a beautiful lady with most adorable kids who you don’t leave money for them and you out here dishing money to slay queens who in turn calls their boyfriends  stingy because they can’t match up what you are doing for them.

Anyway at the end of the day. Live life like there is no tomorrow. Love and laugh. It’s never that serious by the way. When you die the world moves on.

A GLIMPSE OF 2020: BLESSING IN DISGUISE

 What seemed to be a promising year all came down to us struggling for survival. It was no longer about achieving goals and targets but rather seeing the year through. I once said everyday above the ground is a blessing. This year has made me actually believe my own words. I remember the joy and jubilation when the year began, the jokes on how Luhya will struggle pronouncing twenty twenty. It was all fun and jokes, many called it THEIR YEAR. Didn’t matter though because for most of y’all its always your year. With the so called resolutions which some call life targets. The thing about these resolutions is that most of them are unrealistic and most of us are uncommitted to them after we set them.

But don’t get me wrong, am not saying we shouldn’t set goals and targets in the name of NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS, what am trying to say is I understand it’s been a tough year and we should cut everyone some slack. January was delightful, February with its cliché’s love month and everything was going as planned till some cruck head Chinese guy deemed it well to screw all of us up. And gave all of us a new norm. we all started washing hands almost every time, greeting was no longer as we used to do, schools were closed, places of entertainment, people started working from home and least of them all churches and other places of worship were closed. Businesses were hit big time, tourism seemingly taking the biggest hit, bars and restaurants, private schools not escaping this one, and one who we all thought would benefit took a hit as well, hospitals. Apparently there were less patients from other diseases. So washing of hands and practicing hygiene came in handy. When we thought it couldn’t get any worse than that all sports were cancelled. You see most women are brought together by stuff they discuss but men, at least most of them if you remove sports and women from their discussions, they pretty have nothing more to talk about. Days seemed longer than usual, leave alone the nights. I was adjusting getting used to it, then I get sick and results come. Am positive of the corona virus. To be honest I don’t know what scared me the most, being sick or the stigma that came along with the news. People were scared even saying hi to me and some distanced themselves from me as expected, you cant blame them though. But salute to the few that were there during that period. Makes you value the true meaning of friendship.

Long story short 2020 came and went, it’s a new year, we don’t know if what we experienced was just in 2020 or season two is about to premiere, but what am sure of is people learnt a lesson or two. we deserve a drink for seeing the year through and most importantly is we really ought to thank GOD for the grace and mercies throughout the year. You can go ahead and set your targets for 2021, and make sure you commit to them. As pretty bad the year was there is always a silver lining. I read somewhere “As bad as 2020 was, it gave as some low-key blessings and for that we ought to be grateful” couldn’t agree more. Many lost jobs but some got jobs, many lost their lives but kids were also born.

Just 5 things to go with in 2021

1. ·         Everyday above the ground is a blessing
2. ·         The world is unpredictable, so be ready for anything
3. ·         There comes a point where everything is vanity, life is more precious than those things.
4. ·         Keep tabs on your people, least you are told they are no more.
5. ·         If you get an opportunity to save and invest, do that. You don’t know when the next pandemic will be and if you will still have a job or if you will survive it this time.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE. Be smart. Don’t let the personal lessons you learnt in 2020 got to waste

WHAT IF

What if a question about what could happen or what could have happened in a particular situation if something was or had been different:

It is a question that is meant to jog your mind of the endless possibilities, imaginability, conceivability or plausibility of events that would occur if a prior event was to be done different. Most of the time the end results might scare you to even think about them but you know what, some things are inevitable.

So some time back I went through two ordeals that made me think so hard that I had to come up with this blog post to also make you jog your mind. The first incident involved my mum. She had been admitted to hospital (the first time ever) and we kept going to visit her every day, one day I had just left the hospital and was too tired I just wanted to get home and rest. Just when I opened my house my mum calls me and tells me to bring her, her sweater. In my mind I came up with so many excuses that I would give her so as not to go back all that way. But something struck my mind and I was stuck at ‘what if?’ What if I go tomorrow and am told she is gone? What if cold got the better of her? What if she knew she was going and had some info for me? I immediately went back, took her the sweater she requested. 

Secondly a friend of mine had a sick patient who had lost a lot of blood and wanted donors, I had promised to go but got so busy that told myself that I would go the following day very early. The following day AGAIN I told myself after church am heading straight to the hospital. So after church service I call to get direction of where am supposed to actually go, which hospital. And the news that I got rendered me speechless. She had actually gone. Now I sat in the car and asked myself lots of What if question. What if I had gone yesterday as promised? Would things have turned out different. 

Now my main AIM is to let you know if you have the opportunity to do something now, go ahead and do it. Don’t wait for tomorrow to tell us, you had the opportunity to change fate but you procrastinated it. Below is a few what if scenarios that can make you rethink if you were about to postpone something that you could do today.

So What If

        1.         Today was your last day…

        2.       Your mum asks you to visit but you decide to go the following day so that you can at least  you can buy her something when you visit, but that next day never comes.

        3.       You finally open up to your crush and she texts you back but you decide to read it the morning only to realise she was telling you to open the door she is outside.

        4.       The pastor calls for guys to get saved and you decide you will go the next time, only for you to find out that that was judgement day.

        5.       You keep waiting for the perfect time/moment to propose and she gets tired of waiting and another guy seizes the opportunity.

       6.       You keep telling yourself she can’t find better than you only to realize you were the frog she had to kiss before she finds prince charming.

       7.       You don’t answer a new number calling thinking its ‘TALA’ or ‘BRANCH’ calling to claim their depts. Only to realize it was the HR from the company you had applied to get a job but now the chance is gone since they called you three times and you never picked.

       8.       You thought grass was greener on the other side only to realize it was more greener on the side you were before but now it’s too late to turn back since you already moved to that other side. 

      9.       You aborted that child just because he refused to take up responsibility and you were not ready to raise a kid by yourself. Only to realize that was supposed to be the only kid you were to have.

     10.   You keep pushing him/her away and they keep staying but finally they go and they end up happier than they were with you.

Life is full of ups and downs, and surprises, when you think you have everything figured out that’s when life hits you the most. Left, right and center. Don’t be too casual and too comfortable. Anticipate, think, prepare. Only this way, you will be able to tackle anything that comes your way. Because you know what…… The future is not certain.

29 Lessons

So Long 2nd Floor

As I start my last year of second floor there is a lot to look back to, many lessons learnt, wiser people met, some cut off from the circle but at the end its all good. There is this verse that says all good things works to those who love Him. When you young to desperately want to grow up, to have a seat at the table. Thinking good things only happen to grown up peeps. Then boom you grow, and life hits you hard. Finances, family, relationships, employment and the list goes on. You start imagining at the fairy tale you had when you were young and it all seems like a joke. Who evens wants to grow up!!

Anyways at the end of the day growing up and change is inevitable. You have no choice, the good thing about it makes you be responsible and a MAN. You can make decisions, make conclusions, come up with solutions and if you good, you can mentor others. Am excited at this new chapter in my life. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or what new challenge is going to hit me. But all I know is am prepared and am ready. This is the point you tell life “Hit me with your best shot” and you look back at the worst memories and ask them “Is that the best you got?” So long second floor.

Here is my 29 lessons learnt over the 29 years lived.

1.       Always be thankful for the bad things in life. They open your eyes to see the good things you weren't paying attention to before.

2.       The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing.

3.       Everyone in your life will hurt you sooner or later. But you will have to decide. What is more important? The pain or the person??

4.       Just because someone is strong enough to handle pain, doesn't mean they deserve it.

5.       Never be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something even better.

6.       Be happy. Be who you wanna be. If others don't like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life isn't about pleasing everybody.

7.       Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

8.       Some changes are hard, but remember that there's always a reason why you wanted to change in the first place.

9.       A real man never stops trying to show a girl how much he cares, even if he already has her.

10.   Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

11.   It’s really scary how today could be the last day you see or talk to someone you appreciate be nice and enjoy that time cause you truly never know what life got prepared for you next.

12.   Over-thinking ruins you, ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and makes everything much worse than it actually is.

13.   Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.

14.   pain doesn't go away, you just learn how to deal with it

15.   I'm not the person I used to be, I admit, a lot of shit got to me.

16.   Happiness isn't about getting what you want all the time. It's about loving what you have and being grateful for it.

17.   If you can DREAM it, you can DO it.

18.   Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

19.   Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom

20.  However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?

21.  Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life

22.  You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them

23.  Family and friendships are two of the greatest facilitators of happiness

24.  Sometimes you have to stop worrying. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how they're supposed to.

25.  Desire! That's the one secret of every man's career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire.

26.  Generous people find it so hard to ask for help even when they are going through hard times?

27.  You enroll in college, people say your course sucks. You get a job, they say it's a shitty work with low salary. You buy your car, they laugh it's not brand new or BMW. You get into relationship, they say it won't last long. As long you're proud of it, keep going and don't mind.

28.  Everyday above the ground is a blessing

29.  And the end of the day what you should worry is “does it make you happy?” so you do what makes you happy and let the others do what makes them happy.